So there are plenty of other bloggers out there talking about Janet Jackson’s divorce. Some are folks out there calling her a gold digger (even though Janet has been giving us ALL of her since the 70’s) because months after giving birth to her son, she split from her billionaire husband. I heard someone say “What you not going to do is drag Janet when she held you all down since that Control album”
The latest reports are saying that she felt that she was in a controlling relationship and she wanted to be free … and all that jazz. You know what? Take it from this divorcee –
I totally get it.
After you have a baby – things truly get into perspective. I know for me they did. All of that money and perks and stuff goes out the window. You look at this beautiful, little helpless person and say to yourself – what are the things that I want for my child? I know that my daughter did not ask to be here. I truly believe that a lot of my medical woes during my pregnancy had a lot to do with stress. Not long after my daughter was born – not even a year later, I tapped out.
This is not a shade fest to the WUZband – this post has nothing to do with him. This is about me – and my choices as a mother. Growing up, you look at your parents and your grandparents and make take in the things that you may have wished for yourself and try to instill those in your child. No sane woman with good intentions gets married and plans to have a baby to divorce soon there after. Hell, I know I didn’t.
I wanted happiness and peace. This was something that I was lacking at that time. No one wants to be pregnant forever. Especially in that final trimester, you just want it to be OVER. You are ready to just enjoy your baby in peace. When you are going through hormones and post partum, and you can’t sleep, recovery, babies in the middle of the night, feedings, food still doesn’t taste the same since you threw it up in your second trimester … it’s a lot.
The last thing that you want is to be unhappy. When you are in a process of trying to get back to being yourself – you don’t want anything interrupting that. Janet is used to being out in the public and doing her own thing – not being babysat. She wanted to be free.
Making the decision to leave a relationship that you are unhappy in is never easy. There is always that “what if”
What if … things get better?
What if … I wait this out?
What if … after we have this baby everything gets better?
Eventually you run out of what ifs and you have to do what you have to do for you. The baby isn’t good if you aren’t good. Although it sucks, eventually you have to choose.
I chose my baby and I believe that Janet did too.