This morning I woke up feeling grateful because Little Me actually slept in her own bed last night – she’s at that age where she climbs in my bed at night – or in some cases, never leaves and I fall asleep first. I stretched out and as we all do at this day and age – grabbed my cell phone and started scrolling through my social media and Mother’s day text messages.
I stumbled upon an article about a mom that was talking about how being a divorced mom sucked on Mother’s day because everyone else on her timeline is married and they were getting breakfast in bed and what-not. Everyone on her timeline was posting about all the flowers and jewelry they were getting – while now, her kids were not old enough to use the stove by themselves – and she just got make-shift gifts from daycare. I began to think about the circumstances surrounding my own situation and started to get angry.
Just then, my daughter came in the room and climbed in my bed – looking for snuggles. That is when I thought to myself. “This is MY day – no one else is going to ruin it for me.” I have been doing pretty good this year. Since I started blogging and working for myself – I have been able to get myself afloat. I am super busy – but I am doing a lot better than I did last year. I am quite confident that I will be doing way better than I did this year, next year.
This year’s mother’s day lesson.
Do. Not. Depend. On. Anyone. To. Celebrate. You. FOR. YOU.
I made us brunch and while it wasn’t my daughter’s favorite food, it was what I wanted. She ate a bit – and I ate the most.
We watched Moana – and if you have ever seen that movie – you can’t help but feel all types of girl power afterwards.
Today, we went to church. My church always puts together a nice Mother’s Day service. This year did not disappoint. After church we went to get matching pedicures – I haven’t had a good pedi in over a year. I have been soaking my own toes. I was able to treat myself to one of those more expensive spa treatments. Lil Miss got her toes and fingers done. (i didn’t get my fingers done because — you know — dishes, bath time, it’s pointless and I’ve given up the fakes).
I introduced my daughter to her first vanilla bean Frappachino – and her first brain freeze. After all of that … I relaxed at home – cooked myself a delicious dinner. I feel good I must say.
I came home and watched Bad Moms. Felt a million times more awesome after watching that movie as well
Most of all – I am so proud of me. Despite everything that I have been through and seen.
Despite endless days in the NICU and being divorced before my daughter turned 2 – I realized that I can be excited that I am not riding the coat tails of anyone else’s accomplishments, that I have enough going for myself that I have been able to rebuild a beautiful life full of love and happiness for my daughter – despite what anyone else’s plans for me have been.
You see, Queens – Mother’s day is my absolute favorite holiday in the world. It is a day where I can take a moment and bask in the thought that “Wow – God chose me to be this amazing little girl’s mommy. More so – that I was strong enough to do so. Instead of thinking why me? I think – Why NOT me???? I am amazing – have handled so much that there is no reason why anyone should have to validate that I am an amazing mom.
Sometimes – she gets a donut for breakfast – so what?
Sometimes – I let her stay up late watching cartoons – who’s gonna check me?
This. Is. My. World. I can honestly say that I have peace – peace that surpasses all understanding. I no longer need to understand.
All I need to do is be a mom – and I am damn good at it.