Apparently I am Exhausted…

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I am in the throws of my first and only child free weekend all summer. My daughter’s been home with me since June.  Just about everywhere I went, she went. This Labor Day weekend, her grandmother took mercy on my soul and took her out of town.

I’ve been asleep almost the whole time. Sleep during the day – up at night.

I don’t know this life.  Having a three year old has become a different monster.  She’s got a little ‘tude.  She’s busy — very busy.  She has magically become selective in what she eats – only wanting PB and Js on Hawaiian Rolls and blueberries. All of her toys must be played with at once.  I have been spoiled.  Did I mention that she is SUPER clingy?

Anyone that knows me knows that being a mom is my most favorite profession.  I have often scoffed at the idea of taking days off from my daughter.

I was wrong.  I am mentally and physically exhausted.  Keeping a 3 year old mentally stimulated is exhausting.  I see why there is more than one teacher in a classroom full of toddlers.  Mommy time is so important.  It allows us to recharge, keep the company of other adults, not watch cartoons – maybe even cuss a little.  It’s therapeutic.

I don’t believe that I need this break every week, or even every month.  I have discovered that, if I am not at my best – mentally, emotionally – there is no way that I can be my best self as a mother.  Everyday I strive to give her all of the things that I felt I didn’t have – or wanted more of.  I couldn’t even fix my mind right to clog consistently. Do you see my dilemma?

What I did discover this summer is the need for a career change.  The need to be more present for my daughter, and to have the ability to become more involved without the burdens of a job (keyword here is job – not career) trying to get me to choose between job security and my child.  She wins.

I woke up at noon today.  And have in turn sat in front of this computer for the better part of the day.  I plan to write and plan until it’s time to be with grownups.

When Little Me comes back, I will be the better, renewed, version of myself. This is best gift I can give her.

Author: Parris

Mom of a sweet tiny 3 year old Made in New York Tacos are life

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