I am in the throws of my first and only child free weekend all summer. My daughter’s been home with me since June. Just about everywhere I went, she went. This Labor Day weekend, her grandmother took mercy on my soul and took her out of town.
I’ve been asleep almost the whole time. Sleep during the day – up at night.
I don’t know this life. Having a three year old has become a different monster. She’s got a little ‘tude. She’s busy — very busy. She has magically become selective in what she eats – only wanting PB and Js on Hawaiian Rolls and blueberries. All of her toys must be played with at once. I have been spoiled. Did I mention that she is SUPER clingy?
Anyone that knows me knows that being a mom is my most favorite profession. I have often scoffed at the idea of taking days off from my daughter.
I was wrong. I am mentally and physically exhausted. Keeping a 3 year old mentally stimulated is exhausting. I see why there is more than one teacher in a classroom full of toddlers. Mommy time is so important. It allows us to recharge, keep the company of other adults, not watch cartoons – maybe even cuss a little. It’s therapeutic.
I don’t believe that I need this break every week, or even every month. I have discovered that, if I am not at my best – mentally, emotionally – there is no way that I can be my best self as a mother. Everyday I strive to give her all of the things that I felt I didn’t have – or wanted more of. I couldn’t even fix my mind right to clog consistently. Do you see my dilemma?
What I did discover this summer is the need for a career change. The need to be more present for my daughter, and to have the ability to become more involved without the burdens of a job (keyword here is job – not career) trying to get me to choose between job security and my child. She wins.
I woke up at noon today. And have in turn sat in front of this computer for the better part of the day. I plan to write and plan until it’s time to be with grownups.
When Little Me comes back, I will be the better, renewed, version of myself. This is best gift I can give her.